My name is Doughy,
I ride in a horse and buggy,
The side of the road, I huggy,
When the tractor-trailers come around,
My name is Doughy,
My shack is small, but snuggy,
My doggie lies on the ruggy,
As I pick my banjo for some sound,
Everyone calls me, Doughy,
They all give me a huggy,
That is how I get all buggy,
Bugs eat my flesh off by the pound.
My girlfriend's name is Snooky,
She works for a syndicate bookie,
The Feds, they took a lookie,
My poor Snooky is prison bound.
I am a 4D being and I see in 4D,
I've seen that my spouse is cheating on me,
Most times my spouse is cheating for free,
Sometimes my spouse makes more money than me,
Living in 4D is one lonely world,
If I eat something, it's immediately hurled,
I do see all the money, my spouse has squirreled,
My spouse spends it at a salon to get their hair curled,
It is so lonely, living in 4D,
No one ever says hello to me,
Of course, my body, no one can see,
Except for one little monkey, that lives in a tree,
The monkey, my friend, always says hello,
He's willing to go places that I want to go,
He knows of the experiment that created my woe,
Woe beyond the imaginings of authors, like Edgar Allen Poe.
Andy had one main, great purpose, it was to deep fry chicken thighs,
The girls they all loved him, being rural, that is no surprise,
He also, made biscuit gravy,
He got that skill in the navy,
He would also fry taters with grits; the simple ones called him wise.
The government took away my stamps,
My belly has developed the cramps,
No wood to burn,
I'll never learn,
When I have no doe, outdoors I camps.
Really soon, doctors say, I'm going to have to die,
My last requests, place a chicken nugget on each eye,
Sew a hot hamburger and cheese,
Between my dead lips, if you please,
I need comfort food, so in eternal peace, I'll lie.
I was seeing through the forest, when I walked unto a tree,
I didn't hurt the tree, but I suffered a fatal injury,
My neck had received a sharp branch, stab,
The road was far, no uber or cab,
I just bled out complete, as a cougar ate the former me.
Our ding-a-ling, decided to be everybody's king, but no one liked him much,
Our ding-a-ling, had no talent to whistle, dance or sing, but he did have his touch,
When our ding-a-ling went down,
They fetched away his gold crown,
Our ding-a-ling, went to jail and lost his bling, but he still has his pearls, to clutch.
My neighbor, is the famous, Big Beautiful Bill,
He lives in a travel trailer, up on the hill,
It causes me, groin pinching pain,
Wen Bill does a septic tank.drain,
And, my yard becomes a toxic, chemical spill.
I went downstairs to see my neighbor, Big Beautiful Bill,
He lives in the big apartment, beneath my windowsill,
Bill rests, and lays around during days,
Goes to the disco, at night, and plays,
Sometimes he opens his door, and people hang out and chill.
The only thing I'm allowed to do on the internet, is watch pornography, and shop,
If I try to leave a comment any place, I get warned, banned, blocked, full stop,
I tried my own web site, once or twice,
Was taken down, by complaints, or Vice,
Belief in a social media? That brain vein has gone pop.
My robot is missing, several very important parts,
I gambled them away, playing the fun, famous game of darts,
I lost his voice box, and both eyes,
So in silence, my sad bot cries,
I lost the battery, but somehow, the old robot still starts.
I can't afford paying for needed consumables, anymore,
Today, I competed with tiny chipmunks, for acorns to store,
Because chipmunks are so clever,
I out compete chipmunks, never
I burned a million calories, and won no acorns from the war.
I've been doomscrolling, all day, and all night long,
I've been humming the catchy, Doomscrolling Song,
It just isn't fair,
My future ain't there,
The world is so bad, where did we go wrong?
I bought a little pet tariff, and he sits out in the trees,
He never moves at all, except when he's bending in the breeze,
This sounds kind of funny,
He only eats money,
Feeding my tariff, makes me so poor, I fall down on my knees.
I went to Canada, to buy stuff to make tasty s'mores,
I had to sneak into the place, with my boat that has oars,
Not a very easy ride,
There's sea monsters, at low tide,
After battling monsters, my body was covered with sores,
I use to be a great, and powerful, big king,
I ruled over the entire Earth, everything,
But, they all said I went too far,
Now, my head's pickled in a jar,
And, the People taunt me, with mean songs that they sing.
Retirement savings has tanked so much, I'll have to move to Greenland, to retire,
I'm not so smart that I know why,
But, the stock market, it done die,
And, I borrowed money for some heats and eats, to my mortgaged dump, I say goodbye.
Every Friday, my mate the sailor, went adventuring, down low,
He went cruising with his big submarine, to places, he did not know,
He would dive down a couple of leagues,
Slipped on his rubber battle fatigues,
That way he never worried, about any place he happened to go.
I once had an enormous chicken, and his name was Little Dick,
Little Dick was a feisty, rooster, and his comb was long and thick,
Dick's friend was an itsy, bitsy Beagle,
The Beagle was taken by an eagle,
The eagle grabbed the Beagle to feed to its last surviving chick.
I visited my friend Trina, She's lodged in the town, clink,
Trina fell off a low garden wall, after too much to drink,
Someone called for the cops,
Sirens raced through all stops,
I bought Trina a dress for court; it's long, frilly and pink.