I DANCED THE SQUARE AT THE BIG FAIRY FARE

 I went to the capitol to the big fairy fare,

Politicos and the mythologicals were wandering, there,

I rode a unicorn,

Cut my hand on his horn,

I danced with some trolls, in a dance they called square.

CAR INSURANCE: THE CAUSE OF MY FINANCIAL WOE

 I once drove with real good car insurance, but the price just got to be too much,

The politicians who require it, are economically out of touch,

Politicians told me to quit eating steaks,

I can no longer finance repairing breaks,

My tires are bald and all the rides are rough, and it is war to work the clutch.

4D WOE

 I am a 4D being and I see in 4D,

I've seen that my spouse is cheating on me,

Most times my spouse is cheating for free,

Sometimes my spouse makes more money than me,

Living in 4D is one lonely world,

If I eat something, it's immediately hurled,

I do see all the money, my spouse has squirreled,

My spouse spends it at a salon to get their hair curled,

It is so lonely, living in 4D,

No one ever says hello to me,

Of course, my body, no one can see,

Except for one little monkey, that lives in a tree,

The monkey, my friend, always says hello,

He's willing to go places that I want to go,

He knows of the experiment that created my woe,

Woe beyond the imaginings of authors, like Edgar Allen Poe.

CITIZEN FOOLED

The government took away my stamps,

My belly has developed the cramps,

No wood to burn,

I'll never learn,

When I have no doe, outdoors I camps.

A WALK IN THE MICHIGAN WOODS

I was seeing through the forest, when I walked unto a tree,

I didn't hurt the tree, but I suffered a fatal injury,

My neck had received a sharp branch, stab,

The road was far, no uber or cab,

I just bled out complete, as a cougar ate the former me.

I HAVE A GRISLY BEAR IN MY TACO

 I love my tacos, when they're stuffed with wild bear meat,

And, a rainbow of peppers, makes them one fine dine, treat,

But, I am not through,

I like onions too,

Let us eat us some tacos, three for me, two for you.

BIG BEAUTIUL BILL, THE NEIGHBOR

 My neighbor, is the famous, Big Beautiful Bill,

He lives in a travel trailer, up on the hill,

It causes me, groin pinching pain,

Wen Bill does a septic tank.drain,

And, my yard becomes a toxic, chemical spill.

BIG BEAUTIFUL BILL

 I went downstairs to see my neighbor, Big Beautiful Bill,

He lives in the big apartment, beneath my windowsill,

Bill rests, and lays around during days,

Goes to the disco, at night, and plays,

Sometimes he opens his door, and people hang out and chill.

MY SOCIAL MEDIA BRAIN VEIN POPPED: A POEM BY LEIGH COLLIN BRANDT

 The only thing I'm allowed to do on the internet, is watch pornography, and shop,

If I try to leave a comment any place, I get warned, banned, blocked, full stop,

I tried my own web site, once or twice,

Was taken down, by complaints, or Vice,

Belief in a social media?  That brain vein has gone pop.

MY ROBOT, IS NOT ALL THERE

 My robot is missing, several very important parts,

I gambled them away, playing the fun, famous game of darts,

I lost his voice box, and both eyes,

So in silence, my sad bot cries,

I lost the battery, but somehow, the old robot still starts.

DOOMSCROLLING, THE SONG

 I've been doomscrolling, all day, and all night long,

I've been humming the catchy,  Doomscrolling Song,

It just isn't fair,

My future ain't there,

The world is so bad, where did we go wrong?

MAKE A TARIFF YOUR SPECIAL PET, AND YOU'LL BE POOR, I BET

 I bought a little pet tariff, and he sits out in the trees,

He never moves at all, except when he's bending in the breeze,

This sounds kind of funny,

He only eats money,

Feeding my tariff, makes me so poor, I fall down on my knees.

WANTED S'MORES, AND I GOT SORES

 I went to Canada, to buy stuff to make tasty s'mores,

I had to sneak into the place, with my boat that has oars,

Not a very easy ride,

There's sea monsters, at low tide,

After battling monsters, my body was covered with sores, 

MOVING TO GREENLAND TO ESCAPE THE MADNESS

 Retirement savings has tanked so much, I'll have to move to Greenland, to retire,

I'm not so smart that I know why,

But, the stock market, it done die,

And, I borrowed money for some heats and eats, to my mortgaged dump, I say goodbye.

IN THE BELLY OF THE LITTLE, BABY BIRD

 I once had an enormous chicken, and his name was Little Dick,

Little Dick was a feisty, rooster, and his comb was long and thick,

Dick's friend was an itsy, bitsy Beagle,

The Beagle was taken by an eagle, 

The eagle grabbed the Beagle to feed to its last surviving chick.

TRINA'S MISDEMEANOR POEM

 I visited my friend Trina, She's lodged in the town, clink,

Trina fell off a low garden wall, after too much to drink,

Someone called for the cops,

Sirens raced through all stops,

I bought Trina a dress for court; it's long, frilly and pink.

HAIKU: SPACESHIP UP, THEN DOWN 🚀

 Dynamite, Boom, Up

Up, Up, Boom, Boom, Metal, Hunks

Down, Crash, Money, Burns

LORD OF THE GRIFTERS

 Here Van Die Vliee sells electric cars,

They often are dreaming of tripping to mars,

But there's errors in their summing,

Those errors they are mumming, 

So investors and bankers, keep coining Vliee's jars.  

DEATH BY CYBER EXPLOSION

I got killed by a rouge, cyber truck, today,

My silly, old soul has done, floated away,

There was a big crash,

An explosion, a flash,

Birds cleanup my pieces, the red and charred grey. .

MY HEIRS AND EXPECTATIONS

I fell asleep in my little jeep,
While climbing up a hill,
I only wished I had thought ahead,
And, left some sort of will,

For I wokeup as I went crashing down,
Toward the big trees below,
Of course I had no money to leave my heirs,
Just a cabin in the snow,

And, I knew they would have to live there soon,
Because none can hold a job,
And, all will be broke by one cycled moon,
Without this working slob,

But, although they'll have nowhere to go,
They'll sell the cabin in the snow,
For they will want the cash to blow,
Then, they'll reap from what they sew,

But, as I fall I still regret,
Maybe a will could save them yet,
Not selling the cabin would be the bet,
But no, I fear the future's set.