Dave the dingo lived on Lake Michigan with a real tiny, blue fairy,
They lived in a small houseboat, and when the wind blew, it made the boat airy,
They ate for breakfast, toasted tarts,
Sticky honey buns gave them farts,
They road on a pet flying unicorn, although the landings were scary.
It is another big, world war,
That's why I've been shopping at the store,
I bought many types canned goods,
Dozens of radiation hoods,
Now I have sealed my bomb shelter door.
His house specialty is salmon, the chef's name is Mr. Pardeau,
Tonight Mr. Pardeau served me fried salmon stakes, carved from a coho,
The stake was truly divine,
Especially, after wine,
For desert I got a honey bun, and a gin he said was, "slow".
I once drove with real good car insurance, but the price just got to be too much,
The politicians who require it, are economically out of touch,
Politicians told me to quit eating steaks,
I can no longer finance repairing breaks,
My tires are bald and all the rides are rough, and it is war to work the clutch.
I have been burned as an old witch, once again,
I was caught watching movies, labeled as sin,
I am getting tired,
Of being camp fired,
Think I'll move to a place, where my choices win.
The government took away my stamps,
My belly has developed the cramps,
No wood to burn,
I'll never learn,
When I have no doe, outdoors I camps.
Really soon, doctors say, I'm going to have to die,
My last requests, place a chicken nugget on each eye,
Sew a hot hamburger and cheese,
Between my dead lips, if you please,
I need comfort food, so in eternal peace, I'll lie.
I was seeing through the forest, when I walked unto a tree,
I didn't hurt the tree, but I suffered a fatal injury,
My neck had received a sharp branch, stab,
The road was far, no uber or cab,
I just bled out complete, as a cougar ate the former me.
Our ding-a-ling, decided to be everybody's king, but no one liked him much,
Our ding-a-ling, had no talent to whistle, dance or sing, but he did have his touch,
When our ding-a-ling went down,
They fetched away his gold crown,
Our ding-a-ling, went to jail and lost his bling, but he still has his pearls, to clutch.
My neighbor, is the famous, Big Beautiful Bill,
He lives in a travel trailer, up on the hill,
It causes me, groin pinching pain,
Wen Bill does a septic tank.drain,
And, my yard becomes a toxic, chemical spill.
I went downstairs to see my neighbor, Big Beautiful Bill,
He lives in the big apartment, beneath my windowsill,
Bill rests, and lays around during days,
Goes to the disco, at night, and plays,
Sometimes he opens his door, and people hang out and chill.
The only thing I'm allowed to do on the internet, is watch pornography, and shop,
If I try to leave a comment any place, I get warned, banned, blocked, full stop,
I tried my own web site, once or twice,
Was taken down, by complaints, or Vice,
Belief in a social media? That brain vein has gone pop.
My robot is missing, several very important parts,
I gambled them away, playing the fun, famous game of darts,
I lost his voice box, and both eyes,
So in silence, my sad bot cries,
I lost the battery, but somehow, the old robot still starts.
I can't afford paying for needed consumables, anymore,
Today, I competed with tiny chipmunks, for acorns to store,
Because chipmunks are so clever,
I out compete chipmunks, never
I burned a million calories, and won no acorns from the war.
I've been doomscrolling, all day, and all night long,
I've been humming the catchy, Doomscrolling Song,
It just isn't fair,
My future ain't there,
The world is so bad, where did we go wrong?
I bought a little pet tariff, and he sits out in the trees,
He never moves at all, except when he's bending in the breeze,
This sounds kind of funny,
He only eats money,
Feeding my tariff, makes me so poor, I fall down on my knees.
I went to Canada, to buy stuff to make tasty s'mores,
I had to sneak into the place, with my boat that has oars,
Not a very easy ride,
There's sea monsters, at low tide,
After battling monsters, my body was covered with sores,
I use to be a great, and powerful, big king,
I ruled over the entire Earth, everything,
But, they all said I went too far,
Now, my head's pickled in a jar,
And, the People taunt me, with mean songs that they sing.
Every Friday, my mate the sailor, went adventuring, down low,
He went cruising with his big submarine, to places, he did not know,
He would dive down a couple of leagues,
Slipped on his rubber battle fatigues,
That way he never worried, about any place he happened to go.
I visited my friend Trina, She's lodged in the town, clink,
Trina fell off a low garden wall, after too much to drink,
Someone called for the cops,
Sirens raced through all stops,
I bought Trina a dress for court; it's long, frilly and pink.