DEATH BY CYBER EXPLOSION

I got killed by a rouge, cyber truck, today,

My silly, old soul has done, floated away,

There was a big crash,

An explosion, a flash,

Birds cleanup my pieces, the red and charred grey. .

I WALK WITH THE DEAD BRAIN MAJORITY

 I voted for the idol, bro-love, billionaire dude,

Now I will be paying more for my shelter and food,

When I have not any heat,

My dead, froze feet, I will eat,

And, I will still be in a leader, worshiping mood.

THE DARK MARK OF MITCH

 I went upstairs to my bedroom, and found there, a witch,

She powdered my slippers, with stuff that made my feet itch,

The devil daughter of dark,

Showed her left hand had a mark,

A tattoo picture of my daddy, his name was Mitch.

MAMA'S LAST SUPPER

 I went to the Nederlands, and got me some neder,

I mixed it with salt, garlic and a little peder,

It was mama's dying wish,

To have her favorite dish,

Homemade crumpet, served on a plate, carved from a cedar. 

WE HAD A GUEST TODAY

 I decided to hire a mohel, his name was Hubla Hahn,

I hired him to do all my kids, Wilmadene, Gerald and Don,

The kids were quiet as mice,

As the man went slice, slice, slice,

The mohel left, after using the john.

I AM SHORT LONG LEG

 I was born with one leg, far too long,

Which made all my walking, really wrong,

I was sad, deep despair,

I just sat in my chair,

Watching smoke, rise from my smoky bong.

BIRDIE AND HIS BUBBLE PIPES

 Birdie had his pipes to play; he played since he was a lad,

Birdie had his songs to play, both happy ones and true sad,

Birdie played pipes in the bathtub,

He created the "Bubble Club",

The Birdie Bubble Pipes Podcast, has numbers, not too bad.

Daddy's Working Out Adventure

 Daddy said he was demoted to the bottom from the top,

Daddy said it happened real fast, like a corporate flip flop

Daddy said now at work,

He got one little perk,

He had the power to work harder, or to come to full stop.

My Big Daddy Collabs On OnlyFans

I thought my parents were getting a divorce,

I asked nicest mommy and she said, "of course",

My mommy, the finder,

Found dad's pics on grinder,

And, a collab OnlyFans page with a horse.

ERRANDS AND FUN

I went out to do some loads of laundry, but first stopped at the bank,

I also went to the building store, to buy a new toilet tank,

When my errands were all done,

I decided to have fun,

I hung out down at the river, where a rusty, old barge had sank.

Flaky Jake's Liver & Spuds

 I went down the road to Flaky Jake's,

For one of their crisp, potato bakes,

Served with spiced, raw liver,

A cow was the giver,

And, a pint of root beer, cures my aches.

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ABOUT EVERY NINETY DAYS

 About every ninety days,

Henry had a fair job that pays,

To pay the late rent,

To fix a car dent,

And, to buy hair color for grays.

MR CREAMS CREMATORIUM, AND FOOD BAR

 I fancy dressed, went outside, and took a westward turn,

To Mr. Creams Crematorium, where granny would burn,

They opened the crematorium doors,

For roasting pork hot dogs, and making s'mores,

After cooking over granny's bones, then we did adjourn.

THE POGO-STICK FUNERAL

THE END OF MY POGO-STICK

I ran over my pogo-stick with my old car,

Now I can't pogo, jump high or jump far,

So, I just thought it was best,

To lay my pogo to rest,

Some thought my pogo stick funeral bizarre.

 

PAULSON PAWNED HIS PORN

 Paulson took his porn down to the family run pawn store,

He dreamed of getting $1,000,000, maybe much .more,

The store was owned by mom and pop,

They poured through the porn, bottom to top,

They offered Paulson 10 cents each, because each page was tore.

THE BEE IN KALAMAZOO

 Mike caught a bee in his kalamazoo, 

It hurt real bad, Mike didn't know what to do,

Mike rushed straight to the ER,

They caught the bee in a jar,

Where the bee came out, there formed a boo, boo.

MUNKS, SQUIRRELS, BREAD AND HINDGES

 The chipmunks and squirrels are now going to war,

Now winter is here, and neither thought to nut store,

The chipmunks have loaves of bread,

That puts them a bit ahead,

The squirrels have three hinges, from someone's screen door.

THE URBAN LEGEND OF SHED MAN

 Mr. Marnie sold a type of pre-fab shed,

He was a real nice guy, when on his med.

One night his med ran out,

Marnie had an anger bout,

By morning half the county was cold dead.

EXPLODING TOILET AND WET UNDER MY BED

 I had holes in my toilet, and I filled them with lead,

So the water on the floor, didn't run under my bed,

Then, my big cousin Ed,

Just eats black beans and bread,

He exploded my toilet, now my toilet is dead.

IN WINTER I PREFER TO CHILL

In winter I prefer to chill,
Cooking steaks outside upon my grill,
And with my soda pop,
That I'll drink non-stop,
I'll dine outside till I'm blue in the gill.