Every Friday, my mate the sailor, went adventuring, down low,
He went cruising with his big submarine, to places, he did not know,
He would dive down a couple of leagues,
Slipped on his rubber battle fatigues,
That way he never worried, about any place he happened to go.
I visited my friend Trina, She's lodged in the town, clink,
Trina fell off a low garden wall, after too much to drink,
Someone called for the cops,
Sirens raced through all stops,
I bought Trina a dress for court; it's long, frilly and pink.
Trina went out into the primordial woods, and found a three tailed sloth,
The huge sloth was dressed in black, with black makeup, in a style sort of goth,
Crunching bones and making flesh tears,
The sloth was eating grisly bears,
Trina was a sloth tax advisor, and sold him an IRA, called Roth.
A big tree fell at the top of a forest hill,
Nobody heard it, except maybe, Forest Phil,
Phil did not hear the fall for long,
Before he heard an angel song,
Poor old Phil was the first, hilltop tree, kill.
I cannot afford groceries, boohoo, boohoo,
We voted in a criminal, what can we do?
How could anyone know,
How bad things would go,
I fear our election, the whole world will rue.
I went to beg the oligarchs for a bag of dried, red beans,
My kids are just all skin and bone, and dying from the too leans,
The ollies all said no,
Now my kids won't grow,
I won't have to worry about clothes; the kids won't outgrow their jeans.
I best get down to the grocery store,
My leaders have declared a big trade war,
Food prices are real high,
They'll soon sail to the sky,
We were in great pain; we voted for more.
I went to grammar school today, but I did not get any meals,
Government fellas shut them down, so they could see what they could steals,
Mama says that we're grocery poor,
Her check too small to afford a store,
Today I know how granny feels, because they canceled Meals On Wheels.
Foster is a nightingale, and at night he sings,
After eating dinner, of bugs and other things,
Foster had to quite, quickly marry,
His egg-filled girlfriend, Carrie,
In this case fatherhood, clipped poor old Foster's wings.
I voted for a politician, and to my surprise,
All he told to me turned out to be lies, and, lies and lies,
We changed him for a king,
Here's the bad, awful thing,
When I couldn't pay his new taxes, I was hung, then I dies.
I traveled to Greenland to see me some grass green,
It is the greenest place, I have ever done seen,
I spied me, a big killer whale,
He had a chunk out of his tail,
I bet that missing chunk made that whale, super mean.
Mama couldn't afford to buy me milk, so I got a bad case of the rickets,
I tried catching little black bugs to eat, but was way too weak to snatch the crickets,
I did try,
Not to die,
Next I'll go to the bologna factory; just past the protests and pickets.
I cut up some potatoes for a nice oven bake,
Next, I peeled and cut onions to fry up with a stake,
I opened cans of baked beans,
A fav of my hungry teens,
Then, I squashed bananas for a banana cream cake.
I'm going to Greenland, to buy myself a house,
I think that while I'm there, I'll pick up a brand new spouse,
Maybe I'll shake paws,
With the famous Santa Claus,
Then I will go hunting, for the giant, dire mouse.
They were in a long, long, BL ship,
It was the happiest, amazing trip,
Lasting 40 years,
It ended with tears,
When the one died from a broken hip.
I thought my parents were getting a divorce,
I asked nicest mommy and she said, "of course",
My mommy, the finder,
Found dad's pics on grinder,
And, a collab OnlyFans page with a horse.
I got killed by a rouge, cyber truck, today,
My silly, old soul has done, floated away,
There was a big crash,
An explosion, a flash,
Birds cleanup my pieces, the red and charred grey. .
I voted for the idol, bro-love, billionaire dude,
Now I will be paying more for my shelter and food,
When I have not any heat,
My dead, froze feet, I will eat,
And, I will still be in a leader, worshiping mood.
I went upstairs to my bedroom, and found there, a witch,
She powdered my slippers, with stuff that made my feet itch,
The devil daughter of dark,
Showed her left hand had a mark,
A tattoo picture of my daddy, his name was Mitch.
I went to the Nederlands, and got me some neder,
I mixed it with salt, garlic and a little peder,
It was mama's dying wish,
To have her favorite dish,
Homemade crumpet, served on a plate, carved from a cedar.