THE PLAGIARIZED TERM PAPER LIMERICK

I got an F on my term paper because I plagiarized,
I copied from a book so I'm not surprised,
I did not use quotes,
Let alone those tedious footnotes,
I guess that's why term papers are so despised.

I FORGOT MY TURTLE

I forgot my pet turtle and left him outside,
Now he is frozen on the water-slide,
But here's the thing,
Will he thaw out in the spring?
Or, maybe right now I should bring him inside?

AN ENTITY HAS STOLE MY PLACE

An entity has stolen my place,
It took my home and hearth,
It haunts the paths where I grew up,
It rules the house where I found birth,

There's this entity that I have seen,
An entity with a mind,
It revels in my misery,
This being most unkind,

It shows me just what could have been,
Save for the failures of my soul,
All those I've failed both now and when,
My benefit was just my goal.

FISH TEARS AND PIGS ON MY DINNER PLATE

Pigs don't cry but, tuna fishes do,
That's why pigs are in my stew,
Tuna fishes tears,
Make tuna fishes dears,
While pigs, my dinner plate they rue.

IN WINTER I PREFER TO CHILL

In winter I prefer to chill,
Cooking steaks outside upon my grill,
And with my soda pop,
That I'll drink non-stop,
I'll dine outside till I'm blue in the gill.

MY HEIRS AND EXPECTATIONS

I fell asleep in my little jeep,
While climbing up a hill,
I only wished I had thought ahead,
And, left some sort of will,

For I wokeup as I went crashing down,
Toward the big trees below,
Of course I had no money to leave my heirs,
Just a cabin in the snow,

And, I knew they would have to live there soon,
Because none can hold a job,
And, all will be broke by one cycled moon,
Without this working slob,

But, although they'll have nowhere to go,
They'll sell the cabin in the snow,
For they will want the cash to blow,
Then, they'll reap from what they sew,

But, as I fall I still regret,
Maybe a will could save them yet,
Not selling the cabin would be the bet,
But no, I fear the future's set.