THE GHOST SHIP COMES FOR ME LIMERICK

The ghost ship appeared out upon the high sea,
It sang a song on the waves it meant only for me,
It called me to board,
I need not bring my sword,
For there would be no one to fight where I'd be.

P09282020

THE WEREWOLVES WILL BE FILLIN'

When the full moon is up and it's chillin'
Then, the werewolves come a killin',
From the deep darkest woods,
They come after your goods,
And, on your meat they will be a fillin'.

I TOOK MY LITTLE BOAT OUT FOR SOME SAILING

I took my little boat out for some sailing,
But, It just was not worth the bailing,
And, my cell phone wouldn't link,
Before I entered the drink,
As I counted the sharks who were tailing.

THE DARK MARK OF MITCH

 I went upstairs to my bedroom, and found there, a witch,

She powdered my slippers, with stuff that made my feet itch,

The devil daughter of dark,

Showed her left hand had a mark,

A tattoo picture of my daddy, his name was Mitch.

MAMA'S LAST SUPPER

 I went to the Nederlands, and got me some neder,

I mixed it with salt, garlic and a little peder,

It was mama's dying wish,

To have her favorite dish,

Homemade crumpet, served on a plate, carved from a cedar. 

VERDI AND THE SCAREDY CAT

My cat has become quite the scaredy,
He hides when I play Aida by Verdi,
As the trumpet march solo begins,
My cat's on needles and pins,
And, I step to an opera march parody. 

I FORGOT MY TURTLE

I forgot my pet turtle and left him outside,
Now he is frozen on the water-slide,
But here's the thing,
Will he thaw out in the spring?
Or, maybe right now I should bring him inside?

MY WINTER TONGS

My tong shoes were no good in the winter,
For my big toe got an icicle splinter,
And, the numbness in my toes,
Warned me that they were froze,
But, at home I warmed for I'm a vintner.

ALFRED THE VANE

At his end Alfred suffered from insanity,
Because he couldn't overcome his great vanity,
For Alfred saw himself growing old,
Graying hair and skin fold,
But, ignored the greater humanity.

MARVIN NEVER WASHED HIS HANDS LIMERICK

Although, he traveled to many exotic lands,
Marvin never bothered washing his hands,
Of course he caused a pandemic,
With a disease so systemic,
Marvin had lumps all over his glands.

AS DEER HUNTING SEASON BEGINS

As deer hunting season begins,

The deer have all of the wins,

My riffle corroded,

And, with the first shot exploded,

Now, I'm paying for my hunting sins.

COME OUT THE GHOSTS ON HALLOWEEN

From the world of in-between,
Come out the ghosts on Halloween,
No time have they for trick-or-treat,
They walk as shadows of their lives' repeat.

MY GARBAGE PICKUP WAS FREE NOW I'M NOT

I had garbage pickup that I did not pay for,
It was the dumpster behind a chain grocery store,
I never felt any shame,
Till they found my address and name,
Now, I'm in jail serving between three months and four.

APRIL SNOWS BRING ON THE WOES

April snows,
Bring garden woes,
And, ruins everything,

April snows,
Freezes little toes,
And, makes infected ear drums ring,

April snows,
As April goes,
Is no harbinger of Spring,

April Snows,
As everyone knows,
Puts one on Google and/or Bing.