THE PLAGUE AND HOW I GOT IT

I went to a restaurant and I caught the plague,
It was the leek salad that made my bod drag,
And, though I professed I was dying,
The waitress accused me of lying,
Because, I asked for leftovers and a doggie bag.

MARVIN NEVER WASHED HIS HANDS LIMERICK

Although, he traveled to many exotic lands,
Marvin never bothered washing his hands,
Of course he caused a pandemic,
With a disease so systemic,
Marvin had lumps all over his glands.

MY GARBAGE PICKUP WAS FREE NOW I'M NOT

I had garbage pickup that I did not pay for,
It was the dumpster behind a chain grocery store,
I never felt any shame,
Till they found my address and name,
Now, I'm in jail serving between three months and four.

APRIL SNOWS BRING ON THE WOES

April snows,
Bring garden woes,
And, ruins everything,

April snows,
Freezes little toes,
And, makes infected ear drums ring,

April snows,
As April goes,
Is no harbinger of Spring,

April Snows,
As everyone knows,
Puts one on Google and/or Bing.