Bill cut his head hair real short, except in the front he left long bangs,
The bang hair is 10 inches long, and over his whole face it hangs,
Our ma tells him, he looks like a balding, fat fool,
Grandma just sits, while ma wipes away grandma's drool,
It's this kind of morning breakfast, that got me to join some street gangs.
My big daddy named me, Bad Bob Bill,
I'm a cowboy, and coyote I kill,
When they get through my fence,
I get feeling intense,
Sometimes I have to take my heart pill.
I bought me a scooter, but it has only one big wheel,
I stand when I ride it; and I show off my sex appeal,
When all the ladies looked at me,
The ladies were all I could see,
I ran into a parked pickup; it's months before I heal.
It's fall in Northern Michigan; bears are getting fat, and neighbors are becoming rare,
Possums have chewed their way into the basement of my house, while mice scoot everywhere,
Where I hang my fedora hat,
There hibernates a giant bat,
A cougar is claiming the rest of my house, his teeth and claws make the world unfair..
The demon Natas, spread evil all the night and day long,
He spread it through his dramatic, philosophical song,
He said, "when money is tight,
You don't have to do what's right",
So, with Natas we have fallen, his philosophy being wrong..
My little China clock,
It use to go tick tock,
Then it hit the slate floor,
It was a clock no more,
Couldn't replace; no longer in stock.
Big and little bed bugs, and some voracious, eater mites,
Cause itching, scratching in my newly purchased, dancer tights,
I then bigly, bug sprayed,
A protest they displayed,
It seems my tights invaders, are claiming their human rights.
I went into the hospital, because I could not scratch an itch,
I was forced to stay 100 days, so the big shots could get rich,
I was stomach ill, and peeved,
The hospital food I heaved,
I yelled for a nurse for so long, my voice lost it's manly, man pitch