MAKE A TARIFF YOUR SPECIAL PET, AND YOU'LL BE POOR, I BET

 I bought a little pet tariff, and he sits out in the trees,

He never moves at all, except when he's bending in the breeze,

This sounds kind of funny,

He only eats money,

Feeding my tariff, makes me so poor, I fall down on my knees.

TRINA AND THE ROTH FOR THE GOTH SLOTH

Trina went out into the primordial woods, and found a three tailed sloth,

The huge sloth was dressed in black, with black makeup, in a style sort of goth,

 Crunching bones and making flesh tears,

The sloth was eating grisly bears,

Trina was a sloth tax advisor, and sold him an IRA, called Roth.