I LIKE DESTROYING ANCIENT ART

Some say my mind is not too smart,
Because, I like destroying ancient art,
I like to show that stuff don't last,
Especially, stuff that's from the distant past,

When I see old idols I see red,
Especially, of religions now long dead,
Those ancient things, they mock my ways,
And I bring their end of days,

The old statues and pottery I will pound to dust,
So, in graven images none will trust,
Then, to my new idols all will bend their knees,
And, worship only the old oak trees.

THE HOOK, THE FOG AND, THE BEER

I went fishing and caught a hook in my ear,
It was so annoying that my boat I couldn't steer,
Then, there was the fog,
I didn't see the log,
And, my boat sank and I spilled all my beer.

MARVIN NEVER WASHED HIS HANDS LIMERICK

Although, he traveled to many exotic lands,
Marvin never bothered washing his hands,
Of course he caused a pandemic,
With a disease so systemic,
Marvin had lumps all over his glands.

AS DEER HUNTING SEASON BEGINS

As deer hunting season begins,

The deer have all of the wins,

My riffle corroded,

And, with the first shot exploded,

Now, I'm paying for my hunting sins.

COME OUT THE GHOSTS ON HALLOWEEN

From the world of in-between,
Come out the ghosts on Halloween,
No time have they for trick-or-treat,
They walk as shadows of their lives' repeat.

MY GARBAGE PICKUP WAS FREE NOW I'M NOT

I had garbage pickup that I did not pay for,
It was the dumpster behind a chain grocery store,
I never felt any shame,
Till they found my address and name,
Now, I'm in jail serving between three months and four.

APRIL SNOWS BRING ON THE WOES

April snows,
Bring garden woes,
And, ruins everything,

April snows,
Freezes little toes,
And, makes infected ear drums ring,

April snows,
As April goes,
Is no harbinger of Spring,

April Snows,
As everyone knows,
Puts one on Google and/or Bing.



　

 

BARRY BAKED UNTIL HIS BACK ACHED

After baking all day in the bakery where he baked,

Barry went home with a horrific back ache,

So, he bought an expensive new bed,

He hoped would let him sleep like the dead,

But, the lumpy mattress kept poor Barry awake.

NANCY HAD A HORSE, FREDDIE HAD A CARRIAGE

Nancy had a horse,
Freddie had a carriage,
Each couldn't stand the other,
So, they showed their contempt with their marriage.

Nancy had a horse,
Freddie had a carriage,
Each disliked the other,
Both names suffered a disparage.

Freddie had a carriage,
Nancy had a horse,
They finally settled everything,
By agreeing to divorce.

WELCOME TO MY WORLD

BETTER WRITE IT DOWN BEFORE YOU FORGET

All souls exist in a small bubble of time,
With fading ideas as they pass through their prime,
So, if you find that your mind is now drifting off in a fog,
Then, before you forget your thoughts set them down in a blog.