I HUNTED AND FISHED TODAY

 I started hunting, then went fishing, earlier today,

I shot a big moose, and took three small crappies from the bay,

I hung the moose up to bleed out,

Ate the crappies; wished they were trout,

Tomorrow I'll butcher the moose, that will take me all day.

THE AMERICAN EXPLORER

 I'm going to Greenland, to buy myself a house,

I think that while I'm there, I'll pick up a brand new spouse,

Maybe I'll shake paws,

With the famous Santa Claus,

Then I will go hunting, for the giant, dire mouse.